blueprints for a medical building
for once, i'll actually tell you what i was thinking
but maybe i won't have anything to say.
aphasia
as i sit inside this dream, paling in my fears
you clamor up to me, tattered honest tears
but i cannot be bound to this dream while you ignore such a gift
and i cannot see beyond the length of my fingertips (dipped in the ocean)
and i muster up a smile to face my demons day
my thoughts those of a child with nothing else to say
why can you not lift your eyes to look me in the face?
and how can you expect me to believe these doubts in the first place?
so it goes - below the tide.
torn asunder - i traveled halfway home
i followed your delusions, and now i'm alone
and the sky i'm under is not the sky of my home
i never thought that being apart would turn me to stone
shallow water
as soon as you return, your ghost will vanish gone
the glimmer will remain, its scorn my secret song
breathing
spill the concrete
dance in the rain
smoke the silence
down the drain
i can't hear you breathing
break the water
touch its skin
leave the fire
and sky so thin
i can't hear you
i can't help you
i can't feel you breathing
myth of circumstance
i fear that you know the dreams i haven't had
there's a tirade, a rampage, nestled in my smile
i turn back from that trail of thought, it lures me all the same
i'm muted, blunted, as i'm absorbed and crystallized
and hope is an auto-immune disease
it hardens my heart, but it weakens my knees
i marvel at the detail, and wish it could be mine
you sigh, and i cave, and admit that i'm alive
and love is a myth of circumstance
until i'm whole again, you don't deserve a second glance
if this is new to you, it isn't new to me
sideways glances, and backwards passes,
i've always been partial to honesty.
if this is new to you, it isn't new to me.
is it new to you?
it isn't new to me.
and i had the tune wrong all along.
it stuck in my head, but it didn't belong
start out a new day, how could it happen again?
nothing's easier
if you won't make a move, then i guess i'll have to change
i'll sort my guesses out, order and rearrange
i'll drag my feet, and you'll disappear.
leaving out the part of me that's always bored
it's hard to make the rest seem interesting at all.
and you're the one who gets to choose.
and nothing's easier than to laugh at what hurts
and if i go home empty handed, i'll have to pretend i planned it.
and so i spent a night two feet behind my eyes
sometimes just a change of perspective makes things clean and bright.
i think i saw you peeking in
and try as i might, i'll never blind you with my insight.
and if i could lead by example, i'd slow down, and i'd get trampled.
alimentary genius
and i guess i'm the one at fault
i just never know when to stop.
i find a reason in your every movement
i find a reason in your movements.
and doubts come early in a flood.
i ride the current on a hunk of wood.
do i sink below, or hang from the rafters?
sink below, or hang from the rafters?
if you make me guess, then i'll make mistakes.
i have no idea what i have at stake.
that doesn't mean i didn't want to
that doesn't mean that i don't want to.
sleep and dream of wishes, fears
even in waking, you remain unclear.
you asked what i thought, and i responded.
you asked, and i...
well i took a guess and i made a mistake.
after you told me, i started to shake.
i had no reason to be so quiet.
i have no reason to be so quiet.
i'll give you time, i'll give you space.
i only hope my heart keeps pace.
the fragile airs of being haunted.
because of you, wigs
it's more than a matter of self-esteem.
the part of me that wishes, wishes on
in half light, in hind sight, i make mirrors of your eyes.
for one thing or another, we don't have each other.
you might
beneath this, behind me, you're a burden i've hidden from view.
and i've given up on your anger and your common sense.
you might.
and if it's the truth you want, you'll find it. you'll find it.
and if that's the consequence, so be it. so be it.
and if it's the myth you want, i can't tell you, i can't help you.
the truth of the circumstance, it was perfect. it was perfect to a fault.
instead of excuses, i made up myself.
you might.
if i was looking
you can't see past the fiery coals burning out in your eyes
but anger's just sadness with action, so you'll want to compromise.
my smile's a pretense, yours a mockery.
and i won't do it over, and i won't let it be.
and if i was looking, then maybe i'd find the time.
love is a weary path i've given up so many times
but i can find a reason from time to time.
i'm never so early as when i'm late.
and if i delay my arrival, well you'll just have to wait.
'cause if i was looking then maybe i'd find the time
and if you're hungry, are you hungry for me?
and if you're hungry, well maybe you shouldn't be.
=,≠
(what i am, what i am not)he marked the day on his calendar
a sticky note on the fridge.
he told himself to wait a million times
and wait is just what he did.
when i find time, i'll write you a letter.
i'll sit right down, and i'll put it into words.
i am not happy, and i am not joyful,
but i still can say that i'm happier.
he watched the moon wax and wane
he watched the constellations move.
a complement to his patience
but a detriment to his mood.
when i find time, i'll write you a letter.
i'll sit right down, and i'll put it into words.
i am not happy, and joy has all but left me,
but i still can say that i'm happier.
he waits, but there's dust creeping towards the phone.
he waits, but distractions only last for so long.
he waits for a day that never seems to come.
he waits, but there's always something wrong.
i'll find time, and i'll write you a letter.
you'll come home, and i'll put it into words.
i am not happy, and i may not be joyful,
but you've always made me happier.
the rain comes still through the windowsill
leaky windows, billowing clouds.
a year ago
barking up the wrong tree always wants to make sense to me
and parking in winter always seems to get the best of me.
i wandered forever, snow covered the lines i was walking on.
the light posts hung so dreary, the yellow light just sunk inside itself.
a year ago, i was lost staring at the endless row of cars.
fadeout, in the distance, so i walked home from the restaurant.
and i'm sure it's my fault, vision blurry from all my eagerness
with hardly a thought as to how this might end up in a mess.
a year ago, i was lost staring at the endless rows of cars.
fadeout, in the distance, so i walked home from the restaurant.
and you asked me if i was mad, and i said "no."
a year ago, i was lost staring at the endless rows of cars.
fadeout, in the distance, so i walked home from the restaurant.
a year ago, i was lost staring at the endless sea of cars.
fadeout, in the distance, so i walked home from the restaurant.
i prefer to fall
(make me forget you're leaving)as i prefer to fall for you than to pull back and regret,
i can't help but fear hitting the ground below.
and it makes so much sense to be so bold as just to fall
to rekindle my hopes, to ignore the wind rushing through my hair.
and it's so easy to be with you,
and given time, we'd make it true.
the dawn peeks through the shades, and now the night is bleeding fast.
the light across your face, it flickers in your eyes.
and it's so easy to be with you,
and given time, we'd make it true.
so far, i know what's right, what's right.
i prefer to fall, so angel, catch me.
seventeen hundred miles spaced between our words and smiles
copper wires can make you real, but all i want is to have you here.
and how many hundred days between anything that i can dream?
close enough to make you real, but not to show you how you make me feel.
make me forget that you're leaving
the loneliest spaceman
i am (still) the loneliest spaceman
positive feedback
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